Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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