if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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