well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
