I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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