Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
