He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize