you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
