smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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