my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
