drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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