So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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