Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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