maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
