is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
