The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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