They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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