Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
