I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
