i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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