My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
