I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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