What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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