Whod you bang
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
