i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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