hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
