I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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