White coat. Heels.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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