I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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