Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
