kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
