I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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