my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
