Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well you can't waste a boner
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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