Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
