No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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