I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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