spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So vagazzling was a success
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
