i think my mom watched the whole time
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
