You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
