Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
