put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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