How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
