I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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