it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize