That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
