Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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