Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
even my farts smell like vagina
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
