We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
