Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
