you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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