I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
