Only a mothe r could love this liver
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
