I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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