Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
