She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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