He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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