Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
