If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
