escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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