State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
